Fragile Doll.

She’s a fragile doll,
Sitting docile against the wall.
Waiting for someone to ask her to play,
Ask her to speak,
Ask her to say
That she’s only happy to be your friend.
Only happy to serve your needs. 
She’s a fragile doll,
Sitting docile against the wall. 
Her voice echoes the sentiments of Man – 

Wired to communicate His thoughts. 
Only speak when spoken to.
Only say your please and thank yous. 
She exists vicariously through lives that aren’t her own.
She’s a fragile doll,
Sitting docile against the wall.
“Turn the other cheek.”
“Ignore their insults.”
“Don’t give them attention and they’ll disappear.”
“They wish to get a rise out of you, O Fragile Doll.”
“Don’t stoop to their level.”
She appears to be a fragile doll,
Sitting docile against the wall.
But her skin is thicker than blood,
Thicker than metal.
Thicker than mud. 
It tightens with every step,
Every time He abuses
And misuses her. 
Her voice strengthens with every rebel yell.
It wanders off the carefully curated path
And marches to the beat of its own drum,
Down a side street paved with the bones
Of those who went before her. 
She is woman – 
But she doesn’t roar on His command.

 

I Just Wanted to Go Home.

I thought I saw your face today –

My heart thumped erratically out of rhythm.

Thumped.

Thumped.

Thumped.

And dropped.

I thought I saw your face today –

All of time just stopped.

A gaping black hole

Swallowed the crowd whole.

I was entrapped in your car

Longing to go home.

Clenched inside the hand of Fear.

I just wanted to go home –

You had other plans.

Prying Eyes.

Your prying eyes,
Your penetrating gaze.
Your deep voice,
Pouring gasoline on the blaze. 
You overpower
Merely because you can. 
Years and years and years 
Of deep-seated manipulation,
Sowing seeds of discord
Wherever you go. 
You rule with an iron fist,
While I turn the other soft as down cheek. 
Just because your voice is louder,
Your body stronger,
Doesn’t make you invincible. 
It doesn’t make you right. 
I am strong on my own –
My voice deserves to be heard.
I will sing until my lungs burst –
I will stretch myself to the tippy top of the skies
Just so I can gaze down upon 
Your prying eyes.

 

 

 

Over-thinker.

What could have been, what never was – 
Wheels keep spinning just because.
What should have been could happen again – 
Or perhaps not. Just a thought.
My mind races, filling the spaces – 
Those recesses inside my head. 
Never stop. Can’t stop. Won’t stop.
Like an engine with everlasting fuel,
My mind serves as a tool
For incessant thought. 
The cart perpetually in front of the horse.
I envision the straw breaking the camel’s back
Before it makes contact. 
I’m already crying over milk yet to be spilled. 
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times
That I exaggerate. My mind exacerbates 
Every word, every thought, every glance. 
I don’t chalk anything up to chance. 
Not with this brain, where Paranoia reigns supreme. 
A factory resides within where thoughts 
Travel down the conveyor belt,
Only to be recycled back again. 
Never stop. Can’t stop. Won’t stop.
I’m an over-thinker…wait –
Let me think that over.

 

 

 

 

It’s Been Awhile.

Hey all. Welcome to the apocalypse! To be frank, I forgot this blog existed. It’s been collecting dust for almost four years. Time to remedy that. I’ve been busy contributing to multiple pop culture/entertainment news sites over the years. I’m penning my first novel – historical fiction. It’s about Irish pirate Anne Bonny, and I’m finding myself living vicariously through her adventures. Her emotional/mental state is akin to mine, and it’s pure catharsis to put words to feelings – even if they’re seemingly not my own. I’ve also written a poetry collection entitled “Where The Light Touches.” My hope is someday I can publish said collection and share it with a wider audience. In the mean time, I’ve decided to share my poems here.

I’ve waded through some muck over the past few years – I lost my Granny, who was like a mother to me. Closer to me than my own biological mother. I was sexually assaulted last summer, and I’m still recovering from that. My depression/anxiety has been in constant flux. However, my writing has aided me in more ways than one. I started writing poetry a few days after my Granny passed. Every time I felt a surge of grief or a depressive episode crawling over the horizon, I would write down what I was feeling. It’s helped immensely.

I hope this helps you too.

 

Vulnerable.

Dig down deep in my chest

To uncover the heart within.

That’s your treasure trove –

Fit for a Pirate King.

My torn flesh lives in perpetuity under your fingernails.

Remnants of your conquest.

Strip my tree of its leaves.

My branches will forever sway naked in the breeze.

Brand me with your hot irons,

Sear my skin raw like that of an exposed beast

Devoid of its furs.

Peel back my layers,

One by one.

Play my bones like drumsticks.

I am your song.

My organs are yours for the taking –

Do with them as you please.

Use my eyes to see

What you cannot.

My tongue to speak the words

Your mind could never conjure.

Have you had your fill,

O Pirate King?

Your plunder is priceless.

But you don’t deserve it.

 

27.

I’m turning 27 on the 27th of this month. I don’t know what it is about that number that sounds so…old. I used to look forward to birthdays with the childlike exuberance usually reserved for Christmas Day, but this year it’s different. I want to do something special to commemorate this day – because that’s what birthdays are for, right? Commemorating your continued and hopefully long, meaningful existence. But it’s also just a day. Twenty-four hours that pass within the blink of an eye. I thought I’d share with you some of my innermost thoughts as “The Day” approaches, and my personal pledge moving forward. Maybe someone will relate and can find solace that they are not alone. Expect some rambling to ensue.

When I was little, I thought when I reached this age that I would be married with two adorable children, a dashing husband and that proverbial white picket fence enclosing our humble abode. I also hoped to be a famous actress/singer/musician extraordinaire. My childhood dreams could not be further from reality. While I was working as an actress for a bit, I ended up taking a hiatus and focusing on my day job, which provides more income. Now I’m higher up in the career food chain and working so much that I hardly have time for family, friends, a social life, etc. let alone time to focus on my acting career. I know I CAN make time if I so choose, but I also have a lot of monthly bills to pay: student loans, rent, medical bills, phone bill, the list goes on. Now I can’t tell if I’m working and saving money so I can have a better life, or if life is about incessantly working till you die. I see all these ads on the internet about people travelling while on a limited budget, and I’ve always wanted to travel the globe, to see life outside my bubble. To be free of financial worries and just “go wherever the wind takes me.” Easier said than done. As for romance? Dating in LA sucks. A lot. I’ve tried online dating. If I could snap a shot of some of the messages I’ve received and post them to Facebook, well…revisiting those messages would be too depressing. People try so hard to spruce up their profiles, boost their images with these white lies to make themselves sound more appealing that I can’t decipher fact from fiction. Am I speaking to a real person? I’m not trying to knock on the whole thing – my dad met my stepmom through online dating. I understand it does work for some people. But I’d rather run into someone in a library, or art gallery or some other place from my fantasies (maybe I should invent a dating site where you get matched with people that like the same books as you?). There’s also this thing called daily street harassment. I understand LA is a huge city and maybe a decent human male exists somewhere in its massive landscape. Maybe my expectations are too high because my father is an exceptional human male himself. My mother was horrible to him, but he never said a malicious thing about her. He showed me that some men truly do go above and beyond to show compassion for others, and from a young age I just expected all men to be like that.

I have such a love/hate relationship with this city. It has a way of making you feel so isolated, but then it opens its arms to you and reveals more facets that you didn’t know existed. More beauty than you thought possible. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life. The depression rears its ugly head intermittently throughout the year, but is most prevalent usually right before my birthday. I guess seasonal changes play a part in it as well. I also have obsessive-compulsive tendencies that tie into all this. I know I’m anxious/stressed/depressed when I stand there and fold/refold a shirt 5 times just to make sure it’s perfect, or I keep setting and resetting an alarm clock to make sure it will go off in the morning. I lock a door 3 times to make sure it’s truly locked. Reread a sentence multiple times. Now I usually recognize the signs. I try to collect myself, take a deep breath…and stop. I had a mental breakdown at work last week. I usually try so hard to be friendly and upbeat, but being positive 24/7 when you aren’t a naturally positive person is exhausting, and I couldn’t keep up the charade anymore. I’ve always been afraid that I will turn into my mother – mentally broken, refusing help and ostracizing my children. I have moments where I think, “my life is better without her,” and moments like today where I was in the shower and simply thought, “I wish I could hug my mother,” and burst into tears. I wonder if she would like the person I am today.

I can’t go on Facebook anymore without cringing. Every post on my feed is politically charged, and usually cast in negative tones depending on the candidate the poster is supporting. Politics are polarizing. They fill people with hate. Both sides of the political spectrum are at each other’s throats, in a time when we need to stand unified. Why do we hate each other so much? Life is hard as it is. Everyone has the right to vote for whomever they choose, and even if I don’t agree with you at you’re exercising your right. One of the positives I’ve seen from this election is the ignited passion from young people, who are showing a rapidly growing interest in the state of our nation. I just wish more people would argue their stances in a respectful manner, Republicans and Democrats alike. Just be good people. I propose that from now until Election Day we all try to post more cute animal pictures to alleviate the political discord. Please?

So let’s look at 26: emotionally/mentally broken, working hard at a job that’s not the dream job, single, not an experienced world traveler…but alive. I’m alive. I have a roof over my head, and I can afford to pay my bills on time. Do I need children right this second? No. I need to fix my own issues first. Will I end up like my mother? No, because I won’t let that happen. Will I find love? Maybe someday, when I meet someone that is worthy of my attention. I like to think I’m staying single so I can shape myself into the best Melody that has ever lived. Will I continue on my creative path? Yes. I’m always thinking about what my therapist tells me: to make time, regardless of its span, to create. To sing. To write. To draw. To act. I have to remind myself of the courage it takes to pursue your dreams. I’ve always had undying support from my family, which I will be forever grateful for. And that everyone’s journeys are different. Mine veered from a traditional, small-town girl path. I’ve lived in two amazing cities, and seen sights that most people don’t get to see. Do I miss living in close proximity to my family? Of course, but I don’t think I would’ve had these experience without their encouragement, love and support.

27: I’m getting new headshots. I think it’s time to get back to the land of creativity. I really want to take a trip to Europe next year. UK/Ireland/Scotland. Maybe Denmark? I hear the Danish are very happy people. I’ll work on a book. Maybe keep writing this blog? I can talk about my inner demons, my depression, and maybe help someone who’s struggling with similar demons. I’ll keep singing. I’ll work on those unfinished scripts that are on my desktop. Maybe I’ll produce a short film. Take up the ukulele. Not apologize for taking time off, stop saying “sorry” so much. When the anxiety/depression hits, I ride the waves, with the knowledge that there is sunshine on the other side. I’m not alone. Getting older is not a death sentence. It’s a continued lease on life.

-Mel

Highlights of Comic Con 2015

Hello again, my friends! I still haven’t locked down a specific weekly release day for these posts, so I’m just going to write when the inspiration hits me (MAJOR TOOL ALERT). I’ll even write when it doesn’t whack me over the head with a frying pan. This past weekend marked an annual event that nerds like myself look forward to all year: San Diego Comic Con. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend this year due to not gluing myself to my laptop waiting for tickets to go on sale (they sold out the day of, which is mind-boggling). Eh, hindsight is 20/20. I’m reassuring myself that the next time I go I’ll be on a panel for a TV show or film I’m promoting. Here’s hoping. But chances are I’m going to try my hardest to go next year, regardless. I spent my free time this weekend living vicariously through the internet – I watched whatever panels were uploaded to YouTube that peaked my interest, watched interviews and read articles. This year definitely had some highlights. Let’s revisit Comic Con 2015, shall we? POTENTIAL SPOILERS FOR SHOWS. PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION. 

Clark Gregg Won The Entire Convention By Being Awesome 

I truly believe that no one is more grateful to be employed by Marvel than Gregg. He not only loves his job, but he is so humble and genuinely sweet to all his fans. Not to mention he is as sassy as Coulson – he even mentioned in the Partners in Primetime Panel for Marvel with Nerdist that he is becoming more like Coulson, and vice versa (very much paraphrasing here). However, he completely stole the convention (and my heart) when, during the Agents of SHIELD Panel, he told an 8 year-old girl that not only could she join SHIELD, he could see her running it someday. Such a touching moment. The impact he’s made on the cast and crew of SHIELD is evident, especially when co-star Chloe Bennet gave him a beautiful tribute during the Partners in Primetime Panel. Also, dubsmash. Speaking of which…

I Had No Idea Dubsmash Was A Real Thing Until Comic Con

Yes, we’ve all heard about it – the famous Dubsmash War comprising of Agents of SHIELD (Gregg and Bennet) vs. Agent Carter (Hayley Atwell and James D’Arcy). It was the war to end all wars. If you’re just as confused as I was when I first heard the term, Dubsmash is an app where you can create short videos of yourself lip-syncing to famous tunes. The stars of said Marvel shows were engrossed in an all-out war of epic musical proportions when each group sent Dubsmash videos to each other. We heard everything from the B-52s to Queen’s “We Are the Champions,” the latter video performed by the main cast of SHIELD, ending with Gregg emerging decked out in Peggy Carter garb (complete with matching hat and lipstick – reason #50967 Gregg won Comic Con). The final video was to Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood” (which, like Swift’s countless other songs, is now stuck in my head…probably for the next few days). It was the final showdown, Atwell and D’Arcy vs. Gregg and Bennet. As one of my friends pointed out, it appeared that the men in the quartet were a lot more into it than the women. It was a fun event for fans of both shows to witness.

Ryan Reynolds Is Just As Pumped For Deadpool As We Are

I’ll admit it, Deadpool is one of my Marvel crushes. The legendary “Merc with a Mouth” is finally getting a feature film. And who better to portray him than Ryan Reynolds? I was stalking his Twitter (as normal people do on social media), and I was tickled to see that Reynolds is just as snarky as Deadpool is. I was able to watch some of the footage they showed at the Deadpool Panel, and I’m beyond excited for this film. I’m also excited to get an official trailer in three weeks. The fact that Reynolds only wants to play Deadpool in the realm of superheroes (After Green Lantern though, who can blame him?), and really rallied for this film to be made speaks volumes about his passion for the project. Also, I really enjoyed that they poked fun at Green Lantern in the trailer. Just, all the fun. My body is ready.

Doctor Who Series 9 Will Knock Our Socks Off

You can bet your bottom dollar. I know not everyone immediately warmed to Capaldi’s Rebel Time Lord, but I absolutely adore him. He is my favorite Doctor out of the New Who universe. I loved that we not only saw his sassy, snarky side but we also were given glimpses into his vulnerable side. He is multi-faceted. Judging by the trailer, it looks like the Doctor might have a little fun this series. Also, Maisie Williams. She can be in everything. I also watched the Doctor Who Panel and saw nothing that indicated Jenna Coleman’s on her last series, which makes me incredibly joyous. She has become one of my favorite companions in general, and I thought she really brought out the best in the Eleventh Doctor during his final episodes (Amy annoyed me to no end. Rory, on the other hand, was perfect.). The trailer also introduced us to some cool new monsters, complete with beautiful footage (man, the BBC is stepping up their effects game.). Here’s to more adventures in the TARDIS!

Moriarty’s Fate, Sherlock Christmas Special, Benedict Cumberbatch Being Perfect 

Andrew Scott, who plays Moriarty in the lady boner-induced TV extravaganza known as Sherlock, gave a special video message to fans at Comic Con. He was joined by Mark Gatiss (Mycroft) and Benedict Cumberbatch (who I will henceforth refer to as “Cumberbund.”), the dashing sleuth himself. They spent the majority of the video trying to figure out the perfect message to send to fans regarding their absence from the convention. It’s adorable and sweet and everything you’d expect it to be from those actors. The video ends with Scott delivering a heartfelt message, thanking fans for their support. Then he rapidly switches gears, turning into Moriarty with one last chilling line: “Miss me?” My jaw dropped. If you watched the most recent series of Sherlock, you’d know that Moriarty’s voice is heard over the radio asking that exact question. What does it mean? Did Moriarty actually die in The Reichenbach Fall (definitely had to look up the spelling for that one)? Of course, Steven Moffat is going to keep mum on just about everything, as per usual. So all we can do is speculate. But let’s change gears to that Christmas Special clip! I’m so excited to see the gang transported to the time of Arthur Conan Doyle, truly living out the stories in the time period they were written. I’ve also heard that the special might get a theatrical release, given the popularity of the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary special. Seeing Cumberbund on the big screen might render me comatose, but if I bring enough smelling salts with me into the theater I should be fine. Just like he is – fine.

Orphan Black is Everything

It is, though. I have the biggest girl crush on Tatiana Maslany, and like Billy Eichner I believe she was snubbed big time by the Academy. I watched interviews with the cast and kept expecting to see multiple versions of her, forgetting that only ONE PERSON PLAYS LIKE, 10 CHARACTERS. ONE. She’s just so…perfect. Yes. That’s the word. The rest of the cast is not too shabby, either. I discovered that Jordan Gavaris, who plays Felix, is not actually British. His natural accent is not that far off from when he pretended to be a straight American man to foil Crystal. I was sad this weekend served as Dylan Bruce’s Farewell Tour (aka Hot Paul), and that Hot Paul is really, very, actually, dead. As one would be after getting shot multiple times, stabbed multiple times and blown up by a grenade. I watched the blooper reel for Season 3 and was tickled to see that Miss Maslany cracks up the most out of the entire cast. Not surprising, considering her workload and needing to find some levity to break up the seriousness of it all. But yes, the entire cast is adorable. Seeing Kristian Bruun (Donnie, who I love with all my heart. He stole the show this season.) and Maslany recreate the twerking bedroom scene was perfection. Petition to have Donnie/Allison dance breaks in every episode next season?

Conleth Hill Is Funny, Seth Meyers Is Not

Conleth Hill, who plays everyone’s favorite eunuch Varys on Game of Thrones, proved to be funnier than Seth Meyers (which isn’t a difficult feat) and therefore should have ran the Thrones Panel himself. I half expected him to tell Meyers to step aside and let the professionals run the show. Even Maisie Williams commented on how Hill was firing on all cylinders and cracking everyone up. Petition to have him narrate my life?

Robert Buckley Could Also Run A Panel

I watched the iZombie Panel as well, and Mr. Buckley proved to be wittier than I would have expected him to be. And in an effortless way, not “Look at me I’m trying to garner laughs” way (I’m looking right at you, David Anders). I am excited to see where next season takes us, as the first season ended on a couple cliffhangers. I’m surprised by the quality of this show, considering it is on the CW. Kudos to the network for stepping up their television game in recent years (I’m also a Supernatural fan, but that was on the WB initially so it doesn’t count.). The showrunners even offered up information on what to expect for season 2 – not every Panel was gracious enough or able to divulge information regarding their respective future seasons. Whatever it is, I’m on board.

Conan Should Always Be The Guitar Player From Mad Max: Fury Road

The title is pretty self-explanatory. Andy Richter trying to drink coffee while dressed as Max (and wearing that muzzle) is hysterical. Conan rocked it out as the coolest guitarist in cinematic history.

That’s all, folks. Comic Con 2015 was glorious for the most part. Clark Gregg and Ryan Reynolds were the MVPs. I’m hoping we get Marvel next year. While it was disappointing that we didn’t have MCU Panels this year, I understood why they weren’t there. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to fervently scour YouTube for the full Orphan Black Panel (because apparently nobody wants to upload it…). Stay nerdy, my friends! Until next time…

-Regular Melody

HAPPY COMMUNITY POST!

Hello hello! I hope everyone had a safe and enjoyable 4th of July weekend! I’m just fresh off a family vacation myself – I have the painful sunburn and awkward tan lines to prove it (still in disbelief that I can actually get a tan…Scotch-Irish girl problems). Anyway, that is neither here nor there. What is here, however, is Community. I’ve decided to start things off with a simple list ranking the main cast of the show. This also includes those who were only around for a season, such as Hickey, Elroy and Frankie. Basically, anyone who sat in that beautifully sacred study room. Also, if anyone perusing this list happens to have differing opinions than mine, I’d love to read them! I just learned how to use The Tags on The Word Press – this newfangled techno-thingy called The Internet is pretty swell, am I right? So perhaps The Tags will bring more traffic to my humble little blog. Now that I’ve confessed to you that I’m essentially an ignoramus when it comes to all things technological, let’s get started. DISCLAIMER: IF YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED THE SHOW THROUGH SEASON 6, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. THERE WILL BE SPOILERS. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. 

12. Buzz Hickey

I love Jonathan Banks as an actor. He’s done some fantastic work over quite the expansive career – he has 155 credits on his IMDb page. I did enjoy Hickey during his brief stint on Community, as I have enjoyed every character on this list. I wish he would have stayed on longer, but Banks booked (oooh, alliteration) Better Call Saul, which resulted in Harmon and co. promptly giving Hickey a TV death. He had great potential as this gruff “rough around the edges” elder character (I never saw him as a Pierce replacement, to be honest – he wasn’t racist). But it felt one-note to me at times, with the exception being when David Cross guest starred as his son, and we were given a glimpse into Hickey’s family life. Hickey was at his best in the Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons episode. i did enjoy all interactions, regardless of how brief, with Jeff. I would have loved to have seen more of Hickey taking Jeff under his wing (Haha. Winger under his wing. It’s the little things that amuse me.). We just didn’t get enough time with Hickey.

11. Frankie

I know, I know. I may get an internet lashing for this. She had some great moments, my top two favorites including her displaying her drum prowess in Intro to Recycled Cinema and when she confesses to the gang that she still struggles to move past her sister’s death in Basic Email Security. I also love the recurring bit of the Greendale study group trying to figure out her sexuality. The reason I placed her second to last is that she felt too much like Annie, and since we already have a perfectly functional Annie who’s been around since the beginning, it seemed redundant to have another, albeit older version of practically the same character. The major difference I saw between the two was Frankie appeared to be more grounded, providing the voice of reason whenever the study group was acting irrationally (which was all the time). I personally saw more “dimensions” to her character than Hickey, which is mostly in part due to the writing. I just wish these one season characters had always been with us.

10. Shirley

Shirley annoyed me to no end at first, and honestly that’s not the fault of Yvette Nicole Brown, who definitely gave us some wonderful moments throughout her tenure on the show. Perhaps that’s what Harmon intended. Perhaps I’m entirely off base and too hopped up on caffeine to know what I’m talking about. To me she had moments where her character evolved, and then constantly took a step backward. Yvette is a terrific actress, and I’ve always enjoyed her work. They say you’ve done your job as an actor when you trigger a reaction from your audience, positive and negative. I loved her bonding with Jeff in Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism. I loved that she could be a badass when the situation called for it, and was truly loyal to any friend she had when they needed loyalty most. I was saddened to hear she would not be returning for Season 6, as I truly love the Greendale Original Seven, but I would have placed family first as well if I was in that situation.

9. Pierce

Oh, Pierce. The racist. The homophobe. The misogynist. I think Chevy Chase was at his best in Season 1, and his character did evolve. I did rather enjoy his intentional villainous turn in Season 2, especially in Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (which happens to be one of my all-time favorite episodes). Although his callous and extremely hurtful remarks to Neil did make me want to reach through my TV and strangle him. But that was his function, and he served it well. Pierce also had some wonderful qualities – loyalty being one of them. His willingness to help Annie with her rent in Celebrity Pharmacology 212 was more than just a bribe, I believe he genuinely did care for her. He was a big softie beneath that crass shell. I also felt sorry for him in The Psychology of Letting Go and loved seeing the group rally around him in support for Digital Exploration of Interior Design. Sometimes Pierce’s schtick did get old, and it also got tiresome for Chase as well from what I’ve read. But Pierce was still that racist, homophobic and misogynistic old coot we all knew and loved. Typically a person with those qualities isn’t lovable, so Pierce broke the mold with that one.

8. Elroy

I love Elroy. You could tell Keith David was having a blast throughout the whole of Season 6. I loved him and Britta bonding over Natalie is Freezing songs. Obviously his best moment was in Wedding Videography with his addiction to complimenting white people – “Now that’s a guy who knows how to marry his cousin!” I lost it. I think I rewound the episode at least three times so I could watch that moment on repeat. He just eased into the group and seemed to fit right in. He wasn’t a Pierce or a Hickey replacement, but definitely his own character. I sincerely hope that regardless of Community’s next move, be it another season or our beloved movie, Elroy makes the return to Greendale.

7. Britta

“Oh, Britta’s in this?” Britta had a way of Britta-ing everything – even typing her name registers as a misspelling. Britta started as a strong female character who had a voice, and then evolved into a ditz who’s the butt of everyone’s jokes. Gillian Jacobs handles everything with finesse, and injects Britta with so much heart. You can tell she means well with everything she does, even if the results of her actions take on a disastrous quality. I’m just not sure the writers knew what they wanted to do with Britta when we entered later seasons, as she sort of flip-flopped all over the place. I never liked her with Jeff, but I did hope her journey at Greendale would end with her leaving Colorado to explore the world, possibly move back to NYC. I just can’t imagine someone like her wanting to stay behind bartending at a small-town bar. I absolutely adored her in Regional Holiday Music, and I actually liked her relationship with Troy. I felt her and Jeff were too much alike in certain aspects, and Troy’s personality perfectly complemented hers. Britta, in a way, was the heart of the study group. Man, making lists is hard.

6. Jeff

Oh no! I didn’t place the lead of the show, the actor who gets top billing as number one on my list! Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Winger, and Joel McHale is definitely easy on the eyes. I adore his Winger speeches, especially the ones that are the opposite of motivational. I think Contemporary Impressionists is my favorite Jeff-centric episode. I loved the way they poked fun at Jeff’s ever-expanding ego (I’m killing it on the alliteration front today). While Jeff always walked with the swagger of a former lawyer who was disbarred from his practice and now attending community college, he did have some lovely moments with the study group members. His character had one of the biggest transformations, and rightly so. It was absolutely heartbreaking watching him struggle to let everyone go pursue their dreams in the Season (possibly series) 6 finale. His relationship with Annie was touching, and despite the age difference it felt right. As much as I shipped them and as much as his speech to her tugged the heartstrings (that scene in general was so well done all across the board), I was satisfied to see them parting as friends. Annie had moved on, and it was a big realization for Jeff in that he was getting older and settling down, while she still had her life ahead of her. Jeff was the appointed leader of the study group, but the show didn’t exclusively revolve around him. Or his abs, no matter how beautiful they are. As the Dean would say, “Oh, Jeffrey…”

5. Chang

Yes, I ranked Chang above Jeff, and the minute I hit “publish” I’ll probably Chang my mind. Chang is another character who had one of the most drastic evolutions on the show. He started out as essentially a villain and ended up becoming one of the study group. I loved his turn in Season 3, as Kevin, and how everything culminated into The First Chang Dynasty. Man, can he bust out those keytar solos. Obviously Intro to Recycled Cinema was another great episode for Chang. His last scene where he’s fired from a Spielberg film cracked me up. He had a certain Pierce quality to him in that he tried so hard to infiltrate the study group, all out of a need for friendship. Ken Jeong portrayed him brilliantly. He really had some of the best lines from the series, especially in the Season 6 finale. Chang, never Chang.

4. Abed

Woo-hoo! Top 4 territory! Abed is the pop culture epicenter of the show, the commentator. Danny Pudi did such a phenomenal job of making this anti-social, almost Sheldon-esque character absolutely lovable. His relationship with Abed was sweet, and they complemented each other so well. Abed also grew up throughout the course of the series, as is evident in the Season 6 finale when he recognizes that real life and film are not synonymous with one another. Abed had so many fun-filled moments at Greendale – from Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas to Basic RV Repair and Palmistry. He truly is the meta of the show. I also loved that I understood most if not all of his pop culture references (What? It’s an accomplishment.). I own the Troy and Abed in the Morning mug, and while sometimes looking at it makes me wistful of better times (you know, before Troy went sailing with LeVar Burton), it’s one of my favorite mugs to use for my morning cup of joe. Abed missing Troy in the Season 6 finale tugged at my heartstrings – his brief moments of honest, vulnerable emotion were so beautiful. His relationship with Jeff was another favorite of mine. He was also the glue that held the study group together, in a way. Long live Abed, Evil Abed and Inspector SpaceTime.

3. Troy

Troy, Troy, Troy. Oh how I love thee. He makes my heart smile. He was so lovably ditzy. I believe his friendship with Abed really helped Abed open up more. They completed each other, as cheesy as that sounds. One of my favorite Troy moments was him meeting his idol LeVar Burton for the first time in Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking. “Set phasers to love me!” I don’t think I’ve never not (oooh double negative) laughed aloud at one of his lines. Troy also had a “mother hen” instinct to him – he was always looking out for his friends. He was also one of the only characters who was nice to Pierce, and, like Annie, saw through Pierce’s outward behavior. He’s the jock you actually love (I didn’t know too many lovable jocks in high school, to be honest). Another favorite Troy moment occurred in Remedial Chaos Theory (another favorite episode of mine – I may need to construct another Community list consisting of favorite episodes at some point). When he comes back with the pizza, after only having been absent for a minute, to the destruction that took place in his apartment is such a great moment. I’ll admit it – I got a thing for Troy. He’s adorable, and oh so sweet. He seems like that one friend that could always put a smile on your face.

2. Annie

I love Annie. Annie, who could never be sexualized because she was too “young,” and yet somehow was always sexualized, mostly by Jeff. She is a lot like me, which is probably why she’s so high on the list. While I would have loved to play Annie, I think Alison Brie was the best possible choice for this character. Brie had a way of taking a character who was a little “out there” and make her grounded and believable. Annie had so many fantastic highlights that it’s difficult to pick my favorites, although her song and dance number in Regional Holiday Music was perfect. Her character, like Abed’s, grew up, and it was fascinating watching her grow. As I mentioned while talking about Jeff, I did ship them as a couple. But her final one-on-one scene with him was the perfect button, the final sentence to that part of her life. Jeff was just a “phase,” and while she did genuinely love him, she knew she still had her life ahead of her. I imagine if one day she ever returns to Greendale, or they happen to reunite somewhere they could potentially pick up where they left off. As she said (and I might be paraphrasing here) in the finale, “You better kiss me, or you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. I’ll regret the kiss for a week, I’m young.” She is incredibly smart and has such a big heart. She’s neurotic, but lovably so. I loved all of her interactions with everyone on the show. I hope one day Annie is the head of the FBI, as she deserves to get what she wants.

1. Dean Craig Pelton

Did you expect anyone else to top this list? The Dean is the heart of Greendale Community College. He spearheaded the “Save Greendale” campaign, and just wanted what was best for his students. His obsession with “Jeffrey” is perfection. His costumes are unparalleled. Jim Rash is not only an Oscar winner, but a professional scene stealer. Any time he enters a room he commands everyone’s attention. His rap while dressed as a peanut bar in VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing had me in stitches the first time I watched it, and I loved that you could see Gillian Jacobs trying to hold it together during that scene. I think one of my favorite Dean-centric episodes is, obviously, Documentary Filmmaking: Redux when he goes nuts over trying to shoot the perfect commercial that encapsulates everything Greendale stands for. I also like that we addressed the Dean’s sexuality in Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing, and it was more that he was a “politician,” and not gay. “I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me.” Well, too late, Pelton. You’ve awakened something in all of us Community fans. Now don’t do Dean-ing my heart, because frankly my dear, I don’t give a Dean. Dean. *insert photo of Dean in Scarlett O’Hara costume*

Well, folks, that’s it! I adore everyone that’s ever graced Greendale’s halls, as well as the many memorable supporting and guest roles (Who is Glip-Glop, anyone?). Community has gotten me through my bouts with depression, and is one of the few shows that makes me laugh out loud. It’s smart, witty and oh-so meta. The acting is Emmy-worthy, as well as the writing. Here’s hoping Season 6 wasn’t our final time with the study group. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a movie, with the Original Seven reuniting once more.

Jeff: The show’s gonna last three weeks!

Abed: Six seasons and a movie!

GET ON IT, HARMON.

Until next time,

-Regular Melody

TGIBPS!

Thank God it’s “Blog Post Saturday.” 

Too much? Acronyms were never my forte. Firstly, hello! It’s been a while. I told you I would do my best to keep up with this thing regularly, but alas, almost a month has passed between posts. For my very first official post as Blogger Extraordinaire, I decided to tackle a topic that’s been weighing on my mind since it aired 12 days ago – the Season 5 Game of Thrones finale, “Mother’s Mercy.” 

I know, I know. I was positive I would pop that proverbial blog cherry with a “Community” post. Not to worry, my geek-loving friends, there will be plenty of “Community” fun and potentially delving into the Darkest Timeline (as well as the Gas Leak Year, which I did enjoy – we’ll save that for a rainy day). But I watched “Mother’s Mercy” and that changed it for me.

Let me start off by saying I have read all of the novels comprising George R. R. Martin’s fantasy saga A Song of Ice and Fire. I am waiting with (not really) baited breath for the release of the final two novels. I used to be a “self-righteous book reader,” until I realized Martin might actually die before the series is finished and the showrunners were doing the best they could with the material they had. Granted there are some changes they’ve made that I absolutely cannot justify, and we’ll explore that in just a minute.

I think the most efficient way to break down the events of the finale is by character. Like so:

Sansa: Our darling Sansa has gone through the ringer this season, though this is nothing new. Benioff and Weiss decided to take Jeyne Poole’s storyline and give it to Sansa. Honestly, I’m okay with this. Jeyne was quite boring in the novels, and since she was omitted from previous seasons, viewers would fail to recognize her as Sansa’s friend from Winterfell. Having a main character take on this storyline would provide more of an impact. I especially like Littlefinger’s monologue to Sansa regarding why she should marry Ramsay – to “avenge” her family, which is essentially one of the core motives for many characters on this show. Vengeance and power. Sansa has one of my favorite arcs on the entire series – she evolves more than people give her credit for. She knows how to play the game, and she was aware of what she signed on for when she married Ramsay. I also found her reunion with Theon to be tragic. I may or may not have cheered a little when Theon finally confessed to Sansa that he did not murder Bran and Rickon. Did this confession open the door to Sansa possibly hunting down her Stark brothers? While the incessant search parties on this show is getting to be redundant, I would love a Stark reunion. I also may or may not have cheered when Sansa and Theon chumped the fence (some Amish terminology for you). Please let them become the Westerosi Thelma and Louise, dear Benioff and Weiss. Spinoff, perhaps?

Theon: Dear, dear Theon. Hated by many, loved by few. He also has one of my favorite arcs. He goes from being this smug, superior young lord to becoming Reek, Ramsay’s decrepit pet. He’s just a shell of Theon, really. This season gave him the opportunity to atone for his past crimes – he took Sansa under his wing and flew her to safety (well, more like “jumped”). I think his betrayal of the Starks has eaten him alive, emotionally and physically. Perhaps we’re paving the road to redemption for Prince Theon Greyjoy of the Iron Islands. Hopefully he’s finally free of Ramsay.

Arya: Arya has spent her time in Braavos learning the tricks of the trade from the Faceless Men. She also crosses off someone from her “list.” Meryn Trant gets dealt a brutal hand in the finale. I loved that this pulled from The Winds of Winter chapter titled “Mercy,” where Arya is dressed as a girl named Mercy who tracks Trant into a brothel, where he meets his end. This chapter is one of maybe 5 that Martin released into the world, and being the greedy, impatient fan that I am I gobbled them all up. Arya has come a long way from being the little water dancer in King’s Landing with Master Water Dancer Syrio Forel (RIP). Unfortunately for Arya, her actions have extreme consequences. Jacqen H’ghar takes away her sight (or the Lord of Light?) as punishment. While Arya’s blindness happens a little earlier in A Song of Ice and Fire, I welcomed it. It was a lovely little cliffhanger to the season. Season 6 will prove to be interesting as Arya deals with this new development.

Tyrion: Tyrion is left to tentatively rule over Meereen, while Daario and Ser Jorah lead the hunt for Dany. This episode brought the much anticipated return of Varys, as the Spider once again does what he’s best known for: appearing seemingly out of nowhere and verbally sparring with whomever he is with. I am actually glad we were given a Tyrion/Dany meeting this season. It made Dany’s storyline significantly more interesting. I’m curious to see how Tyrion fares with ruling yet another unstable city. Will he learn from his mistakes in King’s Landing? Will he triumph, with the Meereenese shouting his name from the streets? Or will Dany return and tell him to step off? I don’t know. Guess we’ll have to tune in next year.

Jaime: Jaime and Bronn leave Dorne with Myrcella and Tristane, under the terms that Tristane will have a seat on the King’s Small Council. Myrcella will be allowed to wed him as promised, and Cersei should be filled with joy to have another child safe at home. HOWEVER. Ellaria Sand (who I despise, along with everything else involving Dorne) slipped Princess Myrcella some poison via a seemingly chaste kiss on the lips. While Jaime and Myrcella finally share a tender moment as father and daughter, she dies in his arms from said poison. Because nobody on this show is allowed to be happy. HOW DARE YOU BE HAPPY? Cersei will probably think this an act of war, and the Martells vs. Lannisters battle will finally come to fruition. All the while Jaime and Cersei will continue to grow apart (Hopefully. Maybe. Please? Give me Brienne/Jaime now.).

Cersei: Ah, Cersei. Somebody received some sweet comeuppance in this episode. Her “Walk of Shame” was beyond perfect – every detail was practically verbatim from A Feast for Crows. Lena Headey is so, so incredibly good at making you feel things. Cersei in book form is a little one dimensional, whereas Headey has managed to breath life into this character and make Cersei multi-faceted. You love to hate her, and yet instances like this make it difficult to do so. My favorite part was when she was being carried back to the Red Keep in Zombie Mountain’s arms (Oh Qyburn. You weirdo you.), and she has a look of vengeance on her face that screams “You’re gonna get yours.” She’s down, but certainly not out. Along with the new developments regarding her daughter’s fate, it will be interesting to see what happens to her next season.

Brienne: Brienne was barely in this season – I’ll chalk that up to the actress being busy acting in multiple major film franchises (Hunger Games, Star Wars. You go, girl.). Her entire arc was based around tracking down Sansa to honor her promise to Catelyn. So last season was Arya, this season was Sansa. I’m hoping next season Brienne will get a better, less recycled storyline. But instead of getting Sansa, she gets something infinitely better: Stannis Baratheon, murderer of her beloved Renly. She finally gets her vengeance. She gives Stannis a chance for last words. She swings the sword, and then – BOOM! Cut to another scene. So is he really dead? Is Brienne’s thirst for vengeance finally sated?

Stannis: Stannis has it rough. Ever since he allowed Melisandre to sacrifice the darling Shireen to the Lord of Coo-Coo for Cocopuffs, everything went down the toilet. His troops abandoned him. His wife Selyse committed suicide. Melisandre ran away. He has no horses, no food. Davos is gone. He decides to keep going with what little bannermen he has, and fight the Boltons (who are not lacking in resources whatsoever). He loses terribly. Everyone in his army dies. Then he meets Brienne, who immediately recognizes him. She takes it upon herself to dole out vengeance for Renly. Stannis seems like he’s ready to go. But I ask again – did he really die? I’m gonna go by the adage “No body, no death.” TV has proven time and again that if you don’t see a body, there wasn’t a death. Yes, I too am pissed that his character has been completely ruined (daughter burning does not happen in the books, by the way). I am a huge Stannis fan, and I think he truly believes that his actions will lead to a better Westeros. This episode sees him realizing that he messed up big time. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Baratheon will live to fight another day.

Sam: Samwell  is taking Gilly and Sammy Jr. to Oldtown to study at the Citadel. Someone’s gonna be a Maester (RIP Maester Aemon Targaryen)! Of course this was at the behest of Jon. This story is happening, as with Arya, later than normal, but I’m glad all the same. This gives him quite a bit of material for next season (at least a little of book 4, since certain events have already happened for him). Sam’s Adventures in Oldtown! I sense another spinoff. Here’s to Maester Sam, using his super cool dragonglass Jedi powers for the good of Westeros.

Dany: Miss Dany is just chilling in an open field with Drogon, who seems intent with eating and sleeping off his injuries. Dany tries her darnedest to get Drogon motivated enough to go back to Meereen, but he’s just like “Nah bro, I’m mad tired.” So she wanders off aimlessly, and runs into a khalasar of Dothraki as they surround her on horseback. She surreptitiously drops her dragon ring in the grass as a way of hiding her identity (smart). Essentially she’s back where she started – amongst the Dothraki. Will they be accepting, or will the Mother of Dragons have to summon her Dragon (not a euphemism)? Whatever. As long as she finally goes to Westeros, I couldn’t care less.

Jon: Oh, Jon. My heart. My beautifully brooding Lord Commander. This episode leads to the downfall of the Lord Bastard, at the hands of his “Sworn Brothers.” Of course Sam is gone, and Ghost is nowhere to be found. Olly (now more hated than Joffrey) leads Jon outdoors under the guise that his uncle Benjen has returned from beyond the Wall. Jon, always reacting and not thinking, immediately runs outside, where his “brothers” stab him repeatedly. Repeatedly. Like, 5 times at least. Granted, this happens in the books, but at least Martin made it a cliffhanger, and more that he was mortally wounded, not fatally. The show made it appear that he was officially dead, complete with Kit Harrington himself saying he was out. Oh, but he’s not, you see. Melisandre conveniently showed up prior to Jon biting it. Why? She knew that Stannis was not the true Azhor Ashai (I might have butchered that spelling, forgive me), but Jon was. So she will bring him back to life! She has to! Right? He can’t be dead, otherwise this show might be dead to me. He is too important in the battle with the White Walkers. Also, Ice. He’s practically in the title of the series. He’s not dead. He’s not dead. HE’S NOT DEAD.

Oh, and –

Bran, Hodor, Meera: Bran is sitting in a tree with Skeletor honing his Professor-X abilities. Hodor is hodoring. Meera is fawning over Bran or playing with the Children of the Forest. Or something. Maybe we’ll find out next season when they ACTUALLY APPEAR FOR REAL.

Alright, folks. This was a long one. For that, I apologize. This season was a gamechanger in that we’ve finally run out of book material. I’m going to be just as “in the dark” as everyone else! How exciting/terrifying/possibly emotionally scarring! In short, everything that was dumb this season: Lack of Yara Greyjoy, Dorne in general, Lack of Arianne Martell (aka we essentially gave her storyline to Ellaria – boring), Lack of the Greyjoys, Lack of Brienne having a real story and most of all STANNIS MURDERING HIS DAUGHTER. To me that ranks above the Red Wedding in absolutely horrifying. Here’s to Season 6 including the exciting things and excluding the dumb things (hard to believe I’m 25, right?).

That’s all she wrote, ladies and gents. Tune in next week when I (maybe, probably, maybe) procure that “Community” post I’ve been meaning to write.

-Regular Melody

First post, y’all.

I’m terrible with introductions. I never thought that, with my growing abhorrence of social media, I’d ever start a “blog” and feed into the succubus that is the Internet. I also wholeheartedly believe Facebook is for stalking former high school classmates, Twitter is for celebrity stalking and Instagram is for…what is Instagram for again? More stalking through cool filters? Don’t get me wrong – I have all three of these accounts. However, lately I find myself perusing Facebook for the sake of “keeping up” with my family and friends. Beyond that – social media is a platform of distortion. While worldwide events become widespread knowledge within minutes, social media can distort the facts in that same time span. People utilize the Internet to troll and bully. Everyone is a know-it-all when sitting behind a computer screen. How in the name of Odin this turned into a rant about the Internet I’ll never know. Anyway…

HI! I figured I’d let Evil Melody (who exists in The Darkest Timeline) make the introductions, and since she hates the Internet it turned into a rant about the worldwide web. I, Regular Melody (who exists in this Timeline), will be taking over from here. I decided on a whim, while literally thrusting a knife upward and shouting “EUREKA!”, that I’d start a blog to share my thoughts on all things geeky – mostly consisting of my favorite TV shows. I’ll rank things (that’s cool, right?). Dissect things. Maybe even explain things. So if you too enjoy the geeky as much as I do, then this is your spot. Consider this your safe zone. But please, don’t shove knives in the air whenever you have a stroke of genius. Do as I say, not as I do.

“What will be your first official post after this first official post, Regular Melody?” I think I’ll tackle one of my all-time favorite comedies – Community. Perhaps a ranking of the Paintball episodes, or a ranking of all the seasons thus far? Possible topics if we really get that movie we’ve been hinting at since Season 2? Maybe I’ll Dean it all (probably). However, I can’t promise Evil Melody won’t chime in from time to time. I love Marvel, so there could be a ranking of the MCU films in our future. I also love Doctor Who, Sherlock, Orphan Black, Supernatural, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Archer, Agents of SHIELD, Daredevil, Game of Thrones, Buffy, Angel, lots of other Brit shows and much more. Seriously. I’m sure I’m forgetting something. Anyway… *Insert appropriate segue way*

I’m excited to post my thoughts on here for all to mock and ridicule. To the…Geek Mobile? I swear I’ll come up with something better.

Hold on to your butts.

-Regular Melody/Evil Melody